DECEMBER INSEASON MOM-DINAH MEYER CICENAS

Dinah with son John


Name: Dinah Meyer Cicenas    

Age:46

State of residence: Ohio

Child's name and age:  John, age 6

Current Profession: Associate Professor of Psychology, Licensed Psychologist


PREGNANCY

ISM: How long were you trying to get pregnant?

Dinah: I was not! I did not get married until I was 39, and my husband was 48. We just kind of assumed that we were too old to have a child, and I foolishly thought that 39 was too old to get pregnant!

ISM: What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 40?

 Dinah: I became pregnant about 3 weeks after our wedding, but I didn’t find out until I was about 8 weeks along. I had been feeling ill nearly every day for a couple of weeks, but the sickness never hit me until about noon, so I never recognized my “morning sickness”.

I taught a 1:00 class and would sit in my office beforehand feeling sick as a dog, so I had to cancel that class several times. One day, driving home after cancelling the class yet again, I was ready to call my doctor because I was sure I had some virus. It suddenly hit me that I should take a pregnancy test, although I was sure that couldn’t be it.

I know now that was the Lord telling me what was going on, because I was clueless!  Of course, the test stick turned blue in a second because at that point I was nearly 8 weeks pregnant. I was so shocked I took the “used” test to a public dumpster to throw away so my husband wouldn’t find it! I then took a second test and was able to get into my Ob/Gyn that afternoon, where a blood test confirmed the news.  I waited another day to tell my husband, so he could accompany me for the ultrasound, which I insisted upon because I just couldn’t believe it.

SUPPORT

The Medical Community

ISM: How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy?

Dinah: My longtime OB/Gyn, Dr. Stephanie Costa, was so happy for me, incredibly supportive and calmed my concerns about my age.  She kept telling me that tall women (I’m 6’1) do very well during labor and she was right in my case!  I did have some issues with low blood pressure and fainting during the pregnancy (unrelated to my age) so I was also followed by a cardiologist.


ISM: Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

Dinah: No, I couldn’t have been happier with Dr. Costa.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

ISM: What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?

Dinah: Shock. We had just gotten married, and I think everyone else had assumed we were too old to have kids!  However, everyone was thrilled. My in-laws were in their mid-80’s at the time (and are still going strong!) and were so happy that their only son was having a son.

LABOR AND DELIVERY

ISM: Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not?

Dinah: Yes, we took childbirth and breastfeeding classes. Both were helpful, although I feel that no class can adequately prepare you for the realities of breastfeeding. I found it to be the hardest thing I had ever done in my life, but a one-on-one consultation with a lactation consultant a week after my son’s birth turned everything around. I nursed my son for 14 months and loved every second.

ISM: Where did you give birth?

Dinah: Riverside Hospital, Columbus, Ohio

ISM: What do you remember most about the birth experience?

Dinah: It was the happiest day of my life. I stayed at only 2 cm for about 6 hours, but after having an epidural, went to 10 cm in about 45 minutes! I’m so happy I had the epidural – after that I felt intense pressure, but no pain and was really able to enjoy my labor and birth! 

I do have to admit, however, I wasn’t prepared at all for the roller-coaster of post-partum emotions. From the moment I got in the wheelchair to leave the hospital with my baby and throughout the 40 minute drive home, I sobbed in the back seat while my husband drove. All I could think about was how scared I was and how suddenly our lives had changed forever. I’m very blessed that those feelings dissipated quickly and I had no problems with post-partum depression, but I encourage women to seek medical help right away if their sadness persists.

The other very memorable thing is that my son was born days before my own birthday - in fact, we came home from the hospital ON my 40th birthday! What a miraculous gift.


I’M A MOM!

ISM:What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you address these concerns?

Dinah: I do worry at times about my son being an only child with 2 older parents. My husband and I have both had some health issues the past few years, but are taking care of ourselves the best we can. We want to be grandparents someday!

ISM: What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

Dinah: Everything. Every cliché you hear about motherhood is true – I never could have imagined experiencing such an intense love and I’m so grateful that I didn’t miss out.

ISM: How has becoming a mom changed you?

Dinah: After living pretty much only for myself for 39 years, the sacrificial part of parenthood has definitely been an adjustment, but one I’ve taken on happily. Motherhood changes every part of you – you can’t look at the world or other people the same way anymore.

ISM: What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

Dinah: Well, I’m not sure I’d wait as long as I did if one has a choice (and I know some women don’t have that choice) – I do have less physical energy than I did 20 years ago.  However, I’m so appreciative of every moment with my son, and think sometimes how much “color” he’s added to my life.  I would encourage more mature moms to build a support network of other moms with young children. I’ve been blessed to find a group of amazing women with kids my son’s age. Most of these moms are in their late 20’s and early 30’s, but we’re all at the same developmental place in our lives right now.

ISM: Dinah, can you tell us about research and online survey you’re doing about new moms over 40. I understand this is part of your work as a faculty member in the psychology department at Muskingum University in New Concord, Ohio.

Dinah: Yes. Very little research has examined the experiences of new mothers over 40, so it is my hope that the knowledge gained from this study will further our understanding and care of growing population of mothers.

I am using an online survey to assist in my research.  The questions ask about pregnancy, labor and delivery, and the post-partum period. The questions are both medical and social/emotional in nature.

The online survey takes approximately 10-15 minutes to complete, and participants’ responses are completely anonymous – names or any other identifying information will not be asked.  Also, the participants will not be contacted in any way after their participation. To participate in this study, please visit https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/First-timemomover40

InSeason Mom (ISM) Cynthia would like to thank Dinah for being an inspiration to moms across the world! If you would like to be a Featured Mom of the Month, please email info@inseasonmom.org for details.




2 comments:

  1. Hello Dinah, I enjoyed reading your story! One of the things you said reminded me of a blog post that I wrote, titled, Friends. Having children late (I'm featured on Cynthia's blog, too) has allowed me to have friends of all ages. My 3 kids are now teens, and I'm 56, but I still have friends 10 years younger who have kids the ages of my kids.
    I also have friends who are grandparents or kids in their 20s.
    I would imagine that you will experience the same, if you don't already. When your son is older, you will find that the empty nester friends are a good source of info to let you know about things that they've been through that you have yet to go through.
    EnJoy your husband and son!

    Happy New Year, Cynthia!

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  2. Anita, I'm sure Dinah appreciates your words of wisdom about friends of all ages. I'm very thankful to have friends/associates who are going through the same "developmental place I am in my life right now." They certainly help me!

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